My friends, they love my intelligence
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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