His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
