I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
