Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
