You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
