i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
