So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
