Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
