Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
