I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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