So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
