Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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