I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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