I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
