Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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