help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
