Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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