i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Drunk is not a location!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
