so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
