first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
