just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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