just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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