u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
