is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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