When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
