So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
