I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
