OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
