I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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