how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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