Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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