There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
