If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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