I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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