Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
