no, he came in my armpit
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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