drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
