things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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