There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We're too hungover to prance.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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