bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you are never too drunk for berry picking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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