Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
