Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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