she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
