I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
