It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
