Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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