I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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