I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
