Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
