i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
