yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
